House Rules — Remember: We are only the cats’ staff.
- Our cats live here. It is their home, not yours, so show some respect. If you have been invited around, you know us well enough to know we are cat lovers.
- If you want to sit down, find an empty seat. Do not expect the cats to move.
- If you do not want to get covered in cat hair, then do not sit down, bring a lint roller or strip off at the door (although I rather hope you don’t).
- Do not ask us to remove the cats from a room; they live here.
- If you are allergic to cats, do not whine, just take a pill or use your phone to call.
- Do not shoo away the cats. If they decide to say hello, please, say hello to them. Should you be rude to them, we will see you out the door.
- If one or both cats chooses to sit on you, feel honored rather than annoyed. Do not upset the cat — see #6.
- You have no need to give us your opinion regarding the cats being allowed to be cats and do cat things. Neither we, nor the cats are interested.
- Saying, “They’re just cats,” is offensive. They are part of our family. We love and respect all of the members of our family and do not discriminate against those with four legs and fur. Indeed, we tend to discriminate in their favor.
- Finally, remember this at all times: We prefer the cats to you.
These are, of course, not original with us, and they have been adapted because we have multiple cats — I just couldn’t read the url the jpg came from.